When A Woman Has No Desire

 When A Woman Has No Desire

Truly a challenging situation if left unresolved and for those husband's who has this problem; potentially devastating to both he and his wife. And i can find it was the common PROBLEM why  there are some husbands having an affair with others  for the reason of their  wife  has no desire anymore… and here are some tips that i research… happy reading…

Traditional Approach

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder is a lack of sexual desire that causes a woman personal distress either to them or from conflict that it causes in their relationship with a significant other. This includes a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. Often women suffering with this complaint will report they feel "flat" sexually or sexually "dead".

It is important to note that a low sex drive should not be confused with an inability to reach orgasm. Many women with a low sex drive are capable of successful sexual arousal and may also achieve orgasm.

Potential Causes

~ Medications (eg.: birth control- Progestin, Depo-Provera ®) as well as
    non-birth control medications (eg.: antidepressants, hormones, and more).
~ Emotional factors: e.g. depression, anxiety, stress.
~ Relationship factors: e.g. conflicts, anger, lack of trust.
~ Menopause: natural or surgical.
~ Sexual arousal disorder: e.g. sex is frustrating and/or painful.
~ Pregnancy
~ Obesity or Anorexia
~ Illicit Drugs and alcohol
~ Sexual abuse

Emotional & Mental Factors

First, consider whether there are indeed emotional or relationship variables contributing to the problem. It helps to be evaluated by a trained sex therapist who can help her sort this out. I am not sure if you have included sex therapists in your search for assistance… but obviously, a sex therapist would be a bonus. Unfortunately most sexually repressed individuals will not even consider going to one.

For treatment resources see our general treatment and therapy resources page for traditional and alternative modalities.

She will also need to rule out medical causes as well. The first step is to rule out hormonal factors, especially low testosterone. This can be accomplished with simple blood tests.

From what we presently understand about the role of testosterone in women, Free Testosterone should be a minimum of 1.9 and Total Testosterone should be a minimum of 20. If her testosterone is low, she can talk to her doctor about potentially replacing her testosterone. If she feels like her sexual response is low and that is feeding into her lack of interest due to pain, dryness, or lack of response or arousal, or physical release, she should consider seeking evaluation and treatment of sexual arousal disorder.

Alternative Approaches

After medical causes have been ruled out, I can tell you that with alternative therapy have provided positive results.

 Also, if she is very analytical, introspective, etc. then she may need a more intensive, visceral way to release some of her feelings that are resurfacing and trying to get her attention to deal with them. Sometimes "talk therapy" is just not the way to go for those types.

She may also consider some massage therapy to allow her to get more acquainted with her body in a way that is healthy. Many sexual issues are dealt with effectively from therapeutic massage for a few reasons… one it brings them back in touch with their body and often sparks an emotional release during the session (Thus she should let the massage therapist know in advance about what issues she is currently trying to work through so that they can be prepared for her to have an emotional release).

If you  have been struggling to find sexual pleasure, which you most certainly deserve. There is always hope even in the bleakest of situations, but the answer for you may lie not in the hope of your wife changing, but within you by changing your life with the answers that only you can find within your heart.

Make sure that you seek out those things in your life that will provide you with joy and love, as our lives are short and ultimately we get what we settle for in situations. Whatever choices you make for yourself in your future, I wish you well and hope that you and your wife will find happiness together or separate of one another in this life time.